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Recently, David Barton, Professional Liar for Jesus, spoke at a church, where he said that True Christians™ can’t drink Starbucks because they support same-sex marriage.  From Right Wing Watch:

Biblically, there is no way a Christian can help support what is attacking God. I’m sorry, you’ve got to find some other coffee to drink.  You can’t drink Starbucks and be biblically right on this thing.  It’s just a real simple principle.

Oh hey, David Barton?  I noticed you have a Facebook page.  Did you know Facebook supports marriage equality?  I guess you’ll be taking that page down now, right?  Oh, and I wonder what kind of computer you could possibly be using to post to that page, seeing as how both Microsoft and Apple also support same-sex marriage.  Maybe you’re using your Android phone?  Too bad Google is also on the right side of history.  And I hope your electronics don’t have an Intel computer chip, because they have similar positions on marriage equality.

In  fact, maybe you should just live alone in the woods, avoiding all contact with other humans.  At this point, it’s probably the only way to avoid accidentally supporting same-sex marriage.  Or maybe, you could stop being such a bigot.  Just a thought.

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